Wild and Free
I took my shoes off and ran my bare feet in the dirt…
Closed my eyes and let the sounds of the fire crackling take over,
as I drifted to a place only a deep breath and intentionality can take me.
Smelling the salty sea air drift upwards from below the bluff,
and into the scents of the forest where I sat,
mingling to create incredible healing moments-
I discovered what I didn't realize I needed.
Tucked into the woods on the bluffs edge,
I heard the waves crashing onto the shore steadily night and day-
Solid in their commitment to show up without fail.
Just like I have for myself as I’ve work to connect the dots of my life.
Trying to make peace and sense of it all…
little by little.
I came for rejuvenation, renewal, and revitalization…
and here is where I find it.
Sitting here I realize-
I am whole.
I face the ghosts of the past.
They don’t scare me anymore.
Some hurt like hell.
Some feel unhealed.
But no longer scary.
I reground and stay strong in my truth…
Feeling the earth with my bare feet- a reminder of what holds me.
Standing in the water on the uneven rocks,
that challenge me to focus on my center.
I draw from within and don’t waver.
Running in the last light on bluff trails in solitude,
where I’m tempted to give into fear and uncertainty…
The light of the moon led me to where I needed to be-
connected with my inner strength,
and to a vision of who I was, am, and will be.
Unexpected things came to me-
I struggled to sleep.
I had anxiety in the space that once held something I’ve lost.
I had troubling dreams reminding me there’s more work to be done.
Remembered how ALIVE I am-
And that this is a gift.
I stared these things dead in the face.
I didn’t back down.
I stood tall, strong, and faced it.
This was a mission I didn't realize I was on, but when I did…I said ok.
I’m here.
I’ve got this.
I will meet it all where it’s at.
I allowed myself to feel it all.
With the wind, waves, dirt and sand.
With the cool air,
heat of the fire,
and stillness of the night where I couldn’t drown anything out.
With the deep breaths taking in all that was offered to me.
Being in the wild…
which was really a mirror-
Allowing me to see the wildness in myself ready to be free.
Then magic happened.
Inhibition gone.
Connection showed up.
I giggled like I was six years old,
sitting at the edge of the water,
daring the tide to touch my toes…
Laughing when it did like I didn’t know it could.
I kept a fire from sun up to sun down…
Ate s’mores for lunch.
Potato chips for breakfast.
Laughed when I discovered my organic, paleo, whole 30 protein bars were taken by the critters🤣-
who themselves apparently had no inhibition😆.
Found it hilarious that when it rained,
it did so on HALF of ONLY OUR SITE….
And drenched the ONE BOOK I brought,
sticking all the pages together.
I allowed myself to laugh and not care.
This was an integral part of this rejuvenation I was after.
Making space for laughter and joy at a deeper level;
A vital part of this healing journey that offers more-
The more I persevere.
And I received a connection that only comes from within,
yet cannot be separated from everything else.
The universe has a sense of humor.
I was reunited with a dorm mate from 24 years ago here.
She knew me right away… It took me a minute to register.
Staring back at me was another mirror from the past-
That was a me before the shit storm of beauty and ashes called life happened.
Trust- in all of it.
The past, present, and what is to come-
It’s all for purpose.
Surrender to this.
Be wild and free.
What you need-
