Sweet Surrender
Surrender.
This word has been coming to me at every which way for a solid four months now.
Everywhere I go.
Everything I do.
I’ve known for three months I need to address it.
I’m stubborn.
So here I am….
Now-
Leaning into intuition at a level that sometimes can feel like too much…
And it comes back again.
Surrender.
So I go to where I know I need to be.
A place that in the last year has tugged at my heart,
Calling me…
A place from my past that offers healing.
Allowing me a place to be and relearn who I am.
Where I come from.
What I’ve come through.
This place,
each time-
Pieces of my history come back in flashes.
Traumatic and tragic experiences that I’ve stored away come back…
Heartaches and struggles…
where my subconscious has protected me from remembering.
And still at work,
protecting me from remembering all at once.
Slowly the shock wears off.
Reality hits.
And as I push myself,
somewhat clumsily and awkwardly-
What I’m really doing-
Is carefully undoing all of what I’ve held for so long and allowing myself freedom from it all.
Answers won’t come when or how I want.
Or at all.
And often when I try to reason with the unreasonable-
I’m greeted with silence.
I hear it and what it offers.
I find peace and comfort here.
I’m learning to speak its language.
Surrendering to what I didn’t think I could handle-
the dark areas of life and black holes in my memory begin to fill with light.
I find myself.
And I dance a little more freely each time,
as more light pours in and fills my soul.
Here I lean into all of it…
This is where I will rise up and thrive.
Where my power is.
Where I will become who I want to be….
Who I’m meant to be.
as the past and present collide.
Resisting isn’t the answer.
Surrender isn’t failure.
This is strength.
This is healing.
Feel where your intuition wants to lead you;
Even in surrendering to a loud but powerful silence,
you can set yourself free.
Keep dancing-
Freely.
In a beautiful place where all things align,
where you find the you that's hidden away.
This is freedom.
